breaking apart

2008-12-08T15:32:00.003+08:00

restricted..
piercing ear means want to become a gangster
going out means mixing around with bad company
hanging out late means creating trouble outside
not home for dinner means i got a lot of cash to spare
buy clothes means wasting money
watching youtube/ playing com games means spoiling the com
reading mangas means i didnt touch times at all
lazing at home means not eager to work and earn money
sleeping means not interested in preparing for ns
going out two days in a row means duno how to save money
hair not sloped means very untidy
anymore?
sigh..
i'm still not acting maturely
why the hell would i want to act out something in which i am not?
damn it i hate being a loser sia

2008-12-06T03:33:00.001+08:00

MOVED!

2008-11-29T20:16:00.002+08:00

my old com spoiled
lost all my jc photos along with it -.-

The smoke from Dad's ashes mingled with autumn rain and disappeared way up into the gray, gloomy sky. I couldn't tell if they were tears or raindrops that poured down my face.

-Shoko Tendo, Yakuza Moon

2008-11-15T13:11:00.006+08:00

birthdays

is nice to have your birthday being celebrated with your class

is not it?

the surprises, presents, warm feeling of being surrounded by your buddies..

alas it rained ever year for me on that day

sigh...

melancholic emptiness is overwhelming me..

stupid fucked up emo retard

be contend with what you have

2008-11-10T20:48:00.000+08:00

i am a pretty much fucked up guy.. haha

2008-11-08T12:46:00.002+08:00

found this picture while browsing through my jc photos..

*tsk tsk* carine and kanta arh.. HAHA!

2008-11-07T23:16:00.001+08:00

Must. Revamp. Myself.

2008-11-04T20:17:00.002+08:00

when is this nightmare ever going to end?
all these is just a bad dream right?
when i wake up, everything should return back to normal...

2008-10-29T15:23:00.002+08:00

i used to not bother about my studies..
after all the "confirm fail", "never study" and "sure die liao lah"
which i have heard so often,
i decided that when i enter a jc
academics can take a backseat
found no reason to be a part of the mad mugging craze
lost my drive
no longer was what i used to be in 405
i was searching for something which can offer me more than that
join a cca group which i like, bond together with friends and perhaps maybe even find a girl
oh boy was i dearly wrong
time passed
i am still stagnating..

2008-10-25T23:00:00.008+08:00

stupid emo guy..

2008-10-17T16:21:00.002+08:00

great.
why did the last day turned out like this?
now everyone thinks that i am a freak lah.
i have outdone myself.
a total outcast.
sigh.
this was so not what i had wanted it to end.

the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya episode 13

during elementary school
when i was in sixth grade
the whole family went to watch a baseball game at the stadium
i wasn't particular interested in baseball
but i was shocked once we got there
there were people everywhere i looked
the ones on the other side of the stadium looked like squirmming grains of rice all packed together
i wondered if every last person in Japan had gathered in this place
and so
i asked my dad
exactly how many people were in the stadium?
his answer was a sold-out game meant around fifty thousand people
after the game, the path to the station was flooded with people
the sight stunned me
so many people around me
yet they only made up a fraction of the people in Japan
once i got home, i got a calculator and did the math
we learned that the Japanese population was a hundred million and some in social studies
divide fifty thousand into that
and you only get one two-thousandth
i was stunned again
not only was i just one little people in the sea of people in that stadium
but that sea of people
was merely a drop in the ocean
i had thought myself to be
a special person up until that point
i enjoyed being with my family
and most of all
i thought that my class in my school
had the most interesting people in the world
but
that was when i realised it wasn't like that
the things that happened in what i believed to be the most enjoyable class in the world
could be found happening in any school in Japan
everyone in Japan would find them to be ordinary occurrences
once i realised this
i suddenly found that
my surroundings were beginning to lose their colour
brush my teeth and go to sleep at night
wake up and eat breakfast in the morning
people do those everywhere
when i realised that everyone did all these things on a daily basis
everything started to feel so boring
and if
there were so many people in the world
there had to be someone living an interesting life that wasn't ordinary
i was sure of it
why wasn't that person me?
that's all i could think about
until i graduated from elementary school
and in the process i realised something
nothing fun will happen if you sit around waiting
so i figuerd i would change myself in middle school
let the world know that i wasn't a girl content with sitting around and waiting
and i conducted myself accordingly
but in the end nothing ever happenedbefore i knew it, i was in high school
i thought something would have changed.

2008-09-12T20:34:00.002+08:00

i'll always look back

as i walk away

this memory will last for eternity

and all of our tears will be lost in the rain

when i've found my way back to your arms again

but until that day,

you know you are

the queen of my heart..

2008-09-08T17:19:00.001+08:00

all these are making me feeling damn uneasy..
i'm picking up the pieces left..

2008-09-03T17:29:00.006+08:00

rainy days remind me of..
the times we shared during our class bbq (:

oh my.. have i changed?

2008-09-01T10:59:00.002+08:00

the same guy commentated that i had the worrisome look on my face..
do i?
maybe i will after receiving my prelim results
haha
no burden no stress
what is left for me to do now is just study
seems so impossible
wish i could throw all unnecessary thoughts away..
sigh.. the blue sky is so high up..

2008-08-29T18:56:00.001+08:00

who kicked a hole in the sky,

so the heavens would cry over me?

who stole the soul from the sun

and the world come undone at the seams?

2008-08-26T21:31:00.003+08:00

sigh.. i hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene..

the same friend told me how cold his college was.. guess i should be more appreciative in jj? being grateful for my class perhaps?

on a side note, he said his college's principal was my college's principal mentor sia.. lol!

2008-08-21T09:55:00.002+08:00

"I might not get the best start or be the fastest, but if you want to beat me, you have to fight me. I will fight to the line and I do not give up."
-Britain's Christine Ohuruogu, on how she won the women's 400M gold

such fighting spirit.. she must have been very confident about her abilities before she could say such words.. sigh.. when can i ever become like her? 2 more months to the finishing line.. i hope by then i can reach at least half of her standard..

anyway i was on the way home with an acquaintance the other day. he was sharing with me how frequent he was late for school, and so in order to save time in the morning, he wears his school uniform to sleep the night before. lol!

2008-08-18T12:33:00.001+08:00

i hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene..
明天会比较好吧?

2008-08-17T17:51:00.000+08:00

screw prelims
it reflects how slack i am..

2008-08-12T23:29:00.001+08:00

a phrase taken from my gp prelim passage:
"screwing around means sexually addicted syndrome (SAS)"
lol!

2008-08-11T10:54:00.002+08:00

watched another hockey match
makes me wonder what would happen if i had not been so selfish and followed coach's advice to be a keeper instead
would our nationals end differently?
sigh..

be it hockey or academics, not reaching my potential is quite a shame

2008-08-08T13:41:00.003+08:00

pics are up! go grab them (:

2008-08-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

have you ever pushed yourself to the limits?
what are you afraid of?

2008-08-04T20:42:00.000+08:00

in this dog eat dog place
i need solutions quick.

2008-08-03T22:29:00.002+08:00

attended tuition class with esther tonight
was brought back to innova in my mind
the cowboy music
teletubby hill
ulu ulu woodlands
sailormoon uniform
0723b
love econs the subject
mr.wong
the skinny math teacher
ponned every geo lect except the first one
jam and hop night
the i not stupid actress
some basketball guy with the name of valentine or was it valentino?
the school which gets flooded when it rains even though there are shelters
ms.yun
lost every bingo game
gareth ogl
nigel whose looks are quite intimidating
he borrowed my mangas and left it with the g.o. after pae
gerald and his suaning of gillian with the 'shockface' expression
stayed over at gillian's place
chunying
bridge
wasn't really a great bridge partner
need to learn a lot from meigui
xinghua aka spiky
charis and emma
her chattiness
the journey from queenstown to woodlands and back again in the mrt
etc...

2008-08-01T21:47:00.000+08:00

it was then that i felt..
i wasn't part of the memories that everybody else shared

2008-07-31T19:52:00.001+08:00

last day of july 2008..

tonight i've fallen and i cant get up
i need your loving hands to come and pick me up

2008-07-30T17:52:00.000+08:00

the 3Us shit is huanting me forever.. fuck

2008-07-29T08:05:00.002+08:00

pon school, get good grades equals good boy
pon school, get lousy grades equals bad boy
two different outcomes with very different endings

end it with style man

2008-07-28T14:02:00.002+08:00

i need a drug to keep me addicted to studying
and ignore the stuffs which my mind has been thinking
as i drift into the state of loneliness again
sigh...

no hope, no love, no glory,
no happy ending.

2008-07-27T09:45:00.002+08:00

we cant change the cards we are dealt,
just how we play the hand.

"The brick walls are there for a reason... to show us how badly we want something, because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They're there to stop the other people."

2008-07-23T18:01:00.004+08:00

i'm pathetic.. should not have allowed my emotions to take over me.. it was a moment of foolishness and i created a mess way worse than before.. sigh.. oh well at least i let you know how i felt.. but i really should not have done it through that way.. zzz..

"...what makes a person the same person through life is the accumulating set of memories he carries with him. when these are lost, he ceases to be that person and becomes someone else, new and as yet unformed."

2008-07-20T23:37:00.000+08:00

happy birthday?

2008-07-16T15:01:00.001+08:00

by jerome sng a.k.a gp shen:

Laugh and the world
laughs with you.

Cry and the world
laughs at you.

2008-07-15T17:02:00.008+08:00

first the hamburger gang,

than the cheena people

and the ang moh pai

finally the big boss..

inferior complex is taking over me arh

is it possible?

or is it just my wishful thinking?

what the heck am i doing man?

i'm from queensway sec class 405 leh

show some pride can or not?

lyn got A for maths leh..

what about you sia?

surrender yourself to God and trust that He's in control of everything

Zzz...

2008-07-14T19:21:00.000+08:00

Immorality.
is yours,
take it.

2008-07-12T13:03:00.005+08:00

sigh.. and so my jc life is nearing it's end soon..

looking back, i think i had not really performed well enough to match my teachers' standards.. like mr and mrs kao, mr low and mr lee.. werent anyone of their noticeable students anyway.. nothing worthy of mentioning..

haven play hockey for quite awhile.. bring back those days man.. my skills suck a lot now lah.. but i mastered shooting though..

according to mr hong that's our last time entering a lab unless we take up a science course in U.. finally is over sia.. chem spa is so daunting.. screw it.. i remembered the first chem pract we tried to pon it.. we were halfway out of school when mr hong suddenly called one of us.. got a little scared when he wanted to reprimand us.. thinking back i find it quite hysterical..

hmmm.. clouds hanging above jj? lol..

when it's over, i'll take you back to the start..

2008-07-09T04:21:00.002+08:00

all the way to the top now..
because I'm scared alright?
I'm afraid..
suddenly failure does not seems so dreadful after all

2008-07-07T18:04:00.002+08:00

er..
it rained (yet again -.-) on my last youth day
nothing much
went to catch a movie with kanta in the morning
and met philip in the afternoon
pangseh alex
paiseh
turning 18 soon
dun feel like it
must try to act more mature
who am i kidding?
mugging season started long ago
why am i stagnating?

2008-07-04T05:00:00.002+08:00

it rained twice this morning..

quoted from july 3 my paper:

'Zheng Jie from China, at 1.64m tall, defeat her semi-final opponent American Serena Williams, an eight time Grand Slam winner who measures 1.79m tall

"I knew since young that i would have to work harder than the rest to succeed. I believe I will treasure my success more than the others." '

and back to screwing myself! i duno why but i have this tendency and i keep screwing my life up..

2008-07-01T06:20:00.002+08:00

it's just tears and rain..
i'm dispensable in 07s32..
they dun really need me..
shit do i have an attitude problem?

2008-06-29T19:13:00.003+08:00

argh..! it's so crappish..
you're making a choice to live like this
there's such a fine line between insanity and being rational
maybe i think i should go Church soon..

2008-06-28T21:14:00.002+08:00

dancing in the moonlight~

apparently the guy who took this photo do not know how to take pictures -.- lols.. but i supposed the effect's alright afterall huh? haha..

went to chinatown point's mac with my family awhile ago.. the songs played by 95fm were what i used to hear when i attend mrs.kao tuition since primary school.. but at that time it was 98.7 station playing these once considered 'pop' songs.. gosh.. i would never have imagined me being where i am today.. time sure has a habit of slipping away.. wonder what the future has installed for me?

2008-06-25T21:01:00.002+08:00

-_____________________________-'''

2008-06-22T21:12:00.002+08:00

the hiatus didnt really work huh?
lol.. kinda expected it..
my determination wasnt strong enough..
goodbye june holidays..
here comes term 3..
NO SHAKING THRONE!

2008-06-21T17:24:00.002+08:00

and so caffeine has lost it effects..
what next?
croatia was so close reaching the semi finals
darn it!
feeling so cranky sia..
is so suck-ie..
where ballet meets bazooka!
woots

2008-06-20T18:48:00.002+08:00

high from caffeine..
hope i can pull through all the way until monday..
this is madness i swear..
everytime also last minute study..
shit..
i need chingen's, wanping's and gillian's enthu-ness for chem!
lols..

2008-06-19T15:54:00.001+08:00

...I'm afterall, the 3H2s all U guy!
Muawahahaha..

2008-06-18T16:01:00.002+08:00

today is a winding road that's taking me to places that i didnt want to go..

take a step back to laugh at all those silly moments and tell yourself, that's life..

2008-06-12T18:30:00.004+08:00

spoke to jean last night, her class seems united afterall
i'm still struggling in my present class
yeah a party would be great to end this
philip and toon jin would be busy sprouting nonsense to huilu, eileen, maureen and joanne
jethro most probably will be flirting with chu ern (eunice tagging along), lim yin, cai ping and sharon
by the side will be deborah, jenina and santhi
shao cong striking up a conversation with anyone
gwen and janice together
rachel (outcast?) lols..
alvin, wei jun, and edmund are highly likely to bully seng yang
jian ling, lynette, mona, bing jian, moses, lester and haoxun will just gather together to start talking (the ang moh side) haha..
hope lucy, albert and ching en will be able to come back and turn up
xiang ju, shou jun, rama and ariff bbq-ing for us as usual
alex will be having a busy time as the host
xinglu and zenji most likely will be gulping down vodkas
and mr.low the man himself making a guest star appearance
(you gong gong arh!) i missed him suaning me a lot..
as for me, i'll just be there and soak in the atmosphere
play bridge like never before
(we weren't called the card gang for no reason
played every single recess even though prefects and teachers patrol, homework have not finish copying, tests after that) yeah man..
fifa on xbox
great bbq food
and perhaps even mahjong
let us being intoxicated with alcohol and be merry in each other's accompany as the night slowly fades away
there, the 42 of us from queensway sec year 05/06, class 305 & 405- reunite as 1 big family, just like the good old times
where everything was still rosy and comfy

2008-06-10T16:14:00.002+08:00

after spamming myself with hellsing ovas today, i decided enough is enough..
hockey pictures at my friendster..
(yeah i know is only pathetically 2. lol.)
your world is something which only i can read about. sadly, i'm not involved with it ever again.
grow hair grow! hope it gets longer in time when i (hopefully will be able to) meet you in august!
hiatus!
oh, what joy the usage of computer that i'm gonna miss.
dun let euro be the new distraction instead! -.-

2008-06-08T19:51:00.005+08:00

hockey pictures!

amazingly, the pictures that we took after the last match were nowhere to be found! -.-

and how many months have past since -.-

is like everybody had forgotten that they were even taken -.-

alex told me weikiat has it.. weikiat told me he finding.. until now also cant find -.-

than came the other day, alex sent tiak leng the pictures..! -.-

so now i waiting for tiak leng to come online loh -.-

than i realised that ytd he said 后天than send me.. which is tml and not today -.-

alex sent him the pics which only showed our backs lah -.-

the pics got the entire team except moon jun cuz he didnt come for the last match -.-

argh..! -.-'''

hope ronson still has the remaining pictures man -.-

during our last match in the first half against acs(i) first team, we managed to hold them 1-0.. bert said that with a little bit more guidance before nationals, we could have make it past to the second round.. if only, there were fewer conflicts in the team, coach really drilling us the way he wants us to play during the last crucial month before nationals instead of doing that only on the last training for half an hour and at least a or some friendlies to gear us up for nationals. the last month was screwed. coach was with his B div. team, we barely know what to train, did physical mostly, captain last minute make jersey, mr. wee say no funds, cant book field unless want play friendlies at hockey village -.-

and so off we went for nationals, unprepared.
i used to envy how high profile ccas like badminton, rugby and soccer having supporters to cheer them on. the feeling of having the whole school being down there for you is so wonderful can. is like the extra player on the field, giving you the additional boost. i remembered the match against cj was horrible. it feels like being in a cage (cuz the entire hockey field was enclosed with fence to prevent the ball from flying out) and cj ppl filled everywhere. it feels like being suffocated. (i can only to whine dun i?) throughout the nationals, i learned that empty vessels make the most noise, thus i shut up and just focus on the man i'm marking and concentrate on the game instead. i learned to be more aggressive, making physical contacts to scare the opponents. like what zhihan taught me, 要张开翅膀. surprisingly though, the teams we met in our group are not that violent (unless you count the fact that the singh hit izzat with his drag flick. ouch! -.-) there were funny moments too. like when coach was so mad at desmond that he told him to bring his basket and set up a pinic on the other end of the field.

the guy's team did not bond as well as the girls. but i do hope we share the same passion. already the new batch of hockey girls are training now! i wonder what happened to the guys? haha.. oh ya, we didnt have our testimonial match with our senior batch. really hope to have a testimonial match against the juniors.. play this lovely sport for one last time..

sometimes i find myself pondering what if i had joined rugby? i'll be in the high profile clique plus maybe plate champions as well?

i remember we used to eat omelettes and than shit later before our matches start because we were too gan cheong..

my favourite XI would be:

keeper-alex

right back - me centre back - suhaimi centre back - ernest left back - izzat

defensive mid - ronson

right mid - azhari central mid - cuthbert central mid - shazly left mid - jerome

striker - moon jun

proud to be in team jj hockey
pride of a 07/08 player

2008-06-05T19:36:00.003+08:00

EVERYBODY wants to be a HERO mah, than i'll be the villain loh..

shit.. i freakingly still dun feel any sense of belonging in s32 even after so many months.. is as if after 2 years i'm sure i'll remain as a stranger to them.. insignificant, unnoticed.. (DAMN IT!!!)stupid mouth.. right from the start i should have be a good boy and do my hw.. well too bad i didnt..

I'M DAMNED AT THE END, I'M DAMNED AT THE START

2008-06-03T19:57:00.002+08:00

become a writer? yeah, i love to. i like the way how words are craft into sentences and sentences than become paragraphs. i like the way how slices of life can be stringed together to form a story. language is a beauty lah. but i doubt i got the calibre to reach such level of proficiency. not like numbers, which (unfortunately) does not seem to make any sense to me. -_-

on a side note, i went to the library today and there's a nj guy sitting in front of me and a rj girl besides him. one table away, there are two ac guys and a few tables in front is another rj guy. even queenstown library is being filled with them lah -_-

on a side side note, the nj guy has a 'table tennis' school jacket and the rj guy has a 'chess club' school jacket (what?! even clubs have such thing? i thought sport ccas have such stuff? -_-) i saw cj people have their own sports school jacket lah. is so cool can. jj don't have -.-'''

2008-06-02T15:05:00.003+08:00

hey silly, hope you are alright. don't wish to see you hurt.

終於說出口 - 小宇

2008-05-30T08:31:00.001+08:00

if you go to a convenience store, food, drinks, cosmetics...
even cellphones are sold
but they don't sell realtionships there.

我还能做什么
你已经不爱我

2008-05-28T22:05:00.000+08:00

i'm thinking too much
shouldnt be like this
keep scaring myself lah
and i cant stop it -.-

2008-05-28T14:59:00.002+08:00

rainy day with almond milktea is a great way to enjoy the day! :)
last june holidays which i'll be spending as a student..
time flies doesnt it?

2008-05-27T13:41:00.001+08:00

where is good old chunkit?
please tell me you are more than that..

2008-05-22T20:36:00.003+08:00

rain fell from the sky during chem tutorial
heaven opened their floodgates again while i'm on my way home
it was short and abrupt
was it hinting something?
of melancholy intermingled with..
beneath a smiling face lies a..
after a night's sleep everything should be alright?
i'm empty

2008-05-18T09:32:00.002+08:00

i hope to have..

philip's talk cockness but still be able to attract zhabors
alex's laziness but still know how to mug smart to ace well
yanlin's chor-lorness but still remained determined to finish what she has started
maureen's quietness but still surprises everyone as being a darkhorse
zenji's toughness but still show gentleness..

2008-05-17T15:06:00.005+08:00

a PSP with Crisis Core game: $399
a bag (brand name- Animal -.-): $89
a book: ~$20
a pair of shoes: ~$80
total: $588
what about shirts: $???
albums: $???
laptop: $?????
and not to mention.. Calvin Klein briefs!!!: $?????

money money money!!! money not enough arh! please donate to the 'chunkit' fund leh.. damn it! am i being too materialistic? assuming i save $30 each week while living on $4.20 daily, it will take me 5 months before i am able to afford these stuffs.. i know all these are just secondary needs.. but.. sigh.. dun i realise how fortunate i am? am i being ungrateful with what i have? besides by the time if i am able to buy all these stuffs.. i dun really need them anymore do i? sch would have been over.. and how do i live on $4.20 each day? i eat a lot -.- somemore..

2008-05-14T15:39:00.001+08:00

rainy days..
i'll be
1) eating ice-cream
2) emoing..

i think i understand a little more how zenji felt that time during chalet..
(cuz the hardest thing i have to do is to show no emotion when you start to cry..)

2008-05-13T18:55:00.002+08:00

just had my first full court competitive basketball match..
shiok sia.. lols..
we won 33-26 i think..
though i only scored 4 points..
experienced sth new today..
zhihan gave me insights to the game..
so much more to learn..
back to econs..
zzz..
why cant they include pictures in our notes? HAHA

2008-05-10T23:58:00.007+08:00

No More Heroes !!!
( that's a game in case you are wondering -.- )

carine being sandwiched in between guys..

candid.?

lekwei kena taupok-ed..

ushering! yeah!

dun feel like talking so much..

more pictures with kanta..

am i all alone?

is strange..

how one distants himself

actually meant how much he wanted to be with them..

at the end of the day,

i live my own way..

guess it will be the quiet me again huh..?

A aunty.. duno you got read this or not.. send you msg oso didnt reply.. it has been a long time since we danced.. i kind of missed it very much actually.. anyway i duno get wad for you leh.. come to think of it i didnt give you anything at all before lah -.- got him accompany you can liao.. happy birthday :)

2008-05-10T11:37:00.001+08:00

i feel so cheena suddenly..
isit becuz i came to jj?
i got eat potatoes before de meh..?

2008-05-05T20:56:00.002+08:00

last match i kena green card sia.. lols.. shall upload pics soon..

please dun walk away..
yeah please tell me you'll stay..

2008-05-04T11:02:00.004+08:00

Tried to take a picture

Of love

Didn't think I'd miss her

That much

I want to fill this new frame

But its empty

2008-05-01T10:57:00.001+08:00

i ask her stay, and she wouldn't listen
she left before i have the chance to say..

2008-04-29T20:26:00.002+08:00

since when did i become so weak..? too be updated..

just like victoria ceras who sank her fangs to taste blood for the first time, i'm gona bury myself in books and notes to...

2008-04-28T21:23:00.003+08:00

on the way home on the train today, kanta and zhi han was having a conversation about some random games.. to which i added.. must be like me, dun play games, whole day just sleep.. kanta was saying if we look back in life, mine will be the most wasted cuz i spent all my time sleeping -.- i will have all the time i want in the world to sleep when i die.. oh wells..

i think mangas and animes play a part in my life and in some way or another has influenced how i lead my life.. for instance characters that like to sleep and eat alot (think goku, luffy, allen walker, naruto) oh nos! but is this really me? or am i just following? i dun even know who i am myself..

tuesdays with morrie is a very emo book -.- i stopped reading halfway.. sigh.. i think i will be spending my whole life wondering what's life all about (ya i know that sounds lame)

funny thing is why didnt i pick up the plus points that the characters portray? do i expect myself, who is so weak, to suddenly break through all the barriers and reach the top? once again, i wonder where did i place God in my life...

is there any point in seeking answers to..

2008-04-27T19:20:00.003+08:00

bokuwa.. bokuwa.. bokuwa FULL-TIME STUDENT dez..!

take a peek into chunkit's mind:

in a case of manga overdosed, i came to the conclusion that..
we are the monkey crew! ^^

zhihan=luffy
kanta=franky
lekwei=usopp
alex=sanji
jerome=chopper
chunkit=brook
pengxiang=zoro
melvin=???
clement=???
gerald=???

for those who dun read one piece, well u wun not know what i am talking about..
for those who read one piece, well u probably wun know my classmates..

i guess this is a boliao post! :D

2008-04-24T21:20:00.004+08:00

(the bus-stop outside CCAB..)

today, i learned a little more about hockey..

could i have defended a little bit better?

all i yearn for was your recognition.. oh well i guess it does not matters anyway.. i got the hardworking look sia.. is time to put it to good use..

2008-04-21T21:06:00.011+08:00

why do i mug?

for who do i mug for?

how do i mug?

do i mug because i resent being inferior?

or do i mug because i like mugging?

perhaps i should not ask so many questions which seems nonsensical to others (but not to me!) and does not lead me to answers that i am seeking for..

desperately clinging on to threads of

memories which binds us together

lest times have failed us in future..

2008-04-18T20:15:00.002+08:00

sigh..
is gona take some time for me to forgive myself..
i let us down
we let ourselves down
only consolation is that we underdogs put up a good fight and upset the powerhouses..

2008-04-16T20:12:00.002+08:00

we have a great team. but still, we lost. it's sad. the pain is hurting me.

right from the start, it should been like this when i stepped into jjc:

1) join and become one of their 'leaders'.
(become a facilitator for all of their camps)

2) study and mug hard for every bloody tests
(be a teacher's pet)

that's all.. you dun need any other unnecessary stuffs in your jc life.
by achieving the two points stated above, at the end of your two years,
you will have:

1) a good testimonial with lots and lots of cip hours

2) good results lah! (what else?)

but right now, my jc life is over.. is so bloody screwed up

2008-04-15T20:29:00.007+08:00

SHOOT-SHAG -MARRY!!! :D

the three botak monks... in the box!
HAHA :D

zhihan had the pleasure of cutting my hair before i go and shave

lek wei was drooling while falling asleep after mugging too much for physics test..

now this is what i call hardworking! after lecture has ended and everyone left zhihan and jerome were still studying maths! :D

first match tml.. quite worried.. oh wells..

2008-04-13T21:30:00.004+08:00

our groundbreaker, Pierre de Coubertin; who revived the modern Olympics, once said:

"The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well."

and true to our groundbreaker's ideal, we are proud of getting B!

even though an A would be beter, but..

is the process of working together that we cherish,

is not about winning but about the difficulties that we had overcome

and most importantly of all, we fought well :)

2008-04-10T21:14:00.006+08:00

trust team jj

trust coach

trust your team mates

trust your hockey stick
the pride of a jj hockey player 07/08..

coach finally came down for our last training session

scold us like siao.. lols..
should have started training us like this earlier..

haha..

2008-04-09T18:38:00.002+08:00

i seldom have any normal conversations with my dad which a son will have with his father..
unless you want to include the times when he rambles about the past after being intoxicated by some alcohol.. (he claims he was not drunk! lols)
it so happened that i was late for school today and saw him at the station..
even though it was less than 5 mins, i cherish it a lot.....
.
.
.
please hockey stick, dun give up on me!!
feeling dulan yet again..
i hope this feeling will go away after i shave bald..

2008-04-08T20:13:00.003+08:00

An ebony darkness that dyes the sky red...

randomness:

i want Calvin Kline's briefs!!! :D :D :D

2008-04-07T17:10:00.005+08:00

amidst the burning incense and paper notes,
those who have dearly left us are still deeply etched in our memories..

when we die, we simply just die.

knocking on heaven's door anyone?

2008-04-06T00:08:00.002+08:00

"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."

2008-04-04T18:25:00.006+08:00

the dawn is breaking..

find myself quite scary..

alternating between bouts of crestfallen and euphoria

is like a walking timed-bomb

never knowing of how from one moment, i might change to the next moment..

ran with zhihan just now..

from chinatown to the durians..

he's a very good coach lah..
got to run faster..
left 8 days to starting anew..
must make sure that i'm geared up for it..
dan i can bang on the momentum..

"is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not"

as quoted by corine..

2008-04-03T19:01:00.002+08:00

i think that while it is a student's duty to study and be responsible for his results, teachers play a very great role too..
it is not just to facilitate the student in the subject, but also, to pass on the passion that they have for the subject..
after attending today's lecture on vectors by mr.wee, i realised how fortunate i am for having mr.lee as my maths tuition teacher..
his enthusiasm for maths is really something which will inspire me to do better for the subject..
if not for having a chance of attending his tuition class, i would not know how to survive this crazy life in jc now..
in this competitive and results oriented academic system, i feel very tied down by the increasing pressure to perform and the inability to do it..
i'm having remediation in sch for maths, chem and gp..
wtf
that leaves econs as the only subject which i do need to see the teacher outside curriculum time..
this sucks..
especially so when i know my econs aint doing very well either..
used to thought that 405 was competitive..
never thought of getting single digit for every tests..
but now what feared the most happened..
unbelievable!
i think perspectives are very important..
the way you see things will determine how you response to it and in return you will get the result of what you have chosen..
some may say you are so lucky.. got teachers to help you.. etc.. i only complain.. blah blah..
yeah i know it is true..
whining does not help much..
i'm grateful to those who have helped me..
maybe i'm just going through a rough period of time?
but still i do not like the way how i handled it..
there's just this animosity that's coursing through me..
do i have enough time before it is too late?
worrying does not help..
i know..
but what to do? it is affecting me a lot.. do not want it to make me break down..
damn confused lah..
no one to look up to and follow..
instead i'm the one who must set a good example, being the eldest in the family.. blah blah blah..
i think at each stage of life, there will be an obstacle present..
and the way you face it will mark your level of maturity..
currently i think that i simply sucks..
is the whole mental game..
if your mentality is 'i'm gonna win'
than when you set yourself in doing something and you really believe hard enough that you are going to win, you are simply, going to win
but conversely, if you think you cant do anything, i.e 'i'm going to lose', therefore, i am really going to lose..
simple
as simple as that
i wish one day, when i wake up, i do not worry anymore
my mind is blank but i'm not dumb enough to not know how to study
than since my mind is blank, i can simply just absorb everything i read..
this reminds me of carine..
at the beginning of j1 where we used to take the same bus after school, i can tell (from my conversations with her) that her personality then is completely different as of now..
ragh.. randomness..
back to what i was saying..
however, i know that it is different in the world that we live in..
i cant pray that i'll be smart and that i'll ace through my exams without any difficulties..
just like leadership/courage cant be shown unless there are times of danger
.
.
God didnt promise sunshine without rain...

didnt expect my self to blog so much..

2008-04-02T20:39:00.004+08:00

the bar has been raised..
what i thought to be hardworking does not seems to pay off cuz everybody is 'hardworking' too -.-
that makes your own hardwork alone never enough
better still, they still can find time to enjoy life..
as if what i perceived as hardworking is what they will perceive as normal to them..
as for me, i dun even work hard (wtf?!)
so you can see how far i have been crumbling behind..
i sucks..
you know animes like d gray man, bleach and rurouni kenshin where the characters like allen walker, uruhara and kenshin who look like they are so harmless and carefree in life but actually beneath the facade, they are actually quite powerful?
how i wish i was like one of them..
feel that my life has been probably quite screwed up..
maybe i'm missing God
sigh...
can a lost sheep ever finds his way and get back onto the right track?
this lost sheep is just so tired of it..
oh well.. God is sovereign.
submitting things into Your hands
and i pray that Your grace is sufficient for me to live in this topsy-curvy utopia..

2008-03-31T19:20:00.021+08:00

WHAT IF I SAY I WILL NEVER SURRENDER.?!

the view outside my room is so much better (:

just finished season 1 of gundam 00..
is one of the best animes which i have watched
story damn nice sia!

the avr..
we seldom use that room now =/

jerome and peng xiang dozing off during maths lect..
lek wei (sitting on jerome's right) was sleeping too
too bad my phone cant take the 3 of them in a row :(
mr.wee lecturing all the way in front must have thought that they were in deep thoughts about his subject..
lols

scored the lowest for maths test
very demoralised.. sigh..

on a brighter note.. the guys bought tuna and bread to sch to eat during breaks cuz there are simply too many ppl in the canteen!

how can my blog be short of randomness?
that's jerome! :D

lek wei! :D

zhihan! o.O? lols..

i wont give in to peer pressure!

i must learn to be patience and relax so that the mugging machine inside of me can be switched on!

got to shed some weight!

shall post about our class 'kbox' session in ava another time..
will be barring myself from using the com..

the com is a bad bad influence!
our class is gona have 5 botaks soon.. lols
begin with the end in mind..
the present is our gift..

SDSM: Self-Discipline & Self-Motivation... NOT!

SDSM = my poor academic results make me Super Dulan that's why i must become a Silent Mugger from now on..

oh wells... it will workout alright somehow..

2008-03-30T12:56:00.003+08:00

lies and deceptions in my family
coupled with another few hidden truths..
at least the worse of it is over.. for now
but how long can this new found peace last?

my inspiration!!! lols

2008-03-28T15:54:00.003+08:00

wake up boy
get your As in jc
and get the hell out of there
u pathetic loser

argh! i dun act cute!
ok maybe i watched too many anime or read too many mangas
and that u dun share e same sense of humour or joke while i'm influenced by it
damn it
the whole thing is just so anal

thanks to all ppl who tagged my blog HA-HA
-.-

2008-03-26T18:59:00.004+08:00

view outside of jj.. =x the weather has been quite crazy lately..

randomness: i weigh the heaviest in the team.. lols.. haven been hitting the track.. must run faster..

saw someone wrote this somewhere.. 'united we bitch, divided we mug'

retarded.. but it is reality anyway, isnt it?

i guess ignorance really is bliss

i am proud to say that i'm from 405!

some of the peoples in jj got abit out of frequency leh.. lols

(no insults meant)

got a shoutbox instead.. my cbox like got problem leh.. no difference anyway.. like got ppl will come and tag my ulu ulu blog like that.. haha

wonder if i shld pause to entertain my fleeting thoughts..

2008-03-25T00:03:00.002+08:00

hope we can be the other 10% :)

i study for all the wrong reasons..

You have to live out Lockon's share too.
I beg you..change...this world..
Please!
Chris!!
Licthy!!
CHRISTINA SIERRAAAAAA!!!

We had the same smile
but too many years have passed since then
find we begrudgingly accept
the changing scenery
So i abandon my useless pride
to bring kindeness to this world
I gotta say, even if you show courage and pretend to be strong
you can't live alone
That day's promise still
remains deep in my heart
As life goes on...
You mustn't forget it, yeah
Don't let it go...
This vast land and your true friends

2008-03-24T15:40:00.002+08:00

snippets of life in 07s32..

we (the guys) brought bread loaves and cans of tuna to sch today and ate them during breaks cuz the canteen is packed with ppl.. lols..

decided to delete the last phrase in my previous entry.. felt that i wasnt ready for it yet..

2008-03-23T20:21:00.003+08:00

every question, has a story to tell..

hmm.. i cant wait to be 18 man.. can rent so many good movies like babel, crash and thank you for smoking.. lols.. that was random..

week 2 begins in a few hours time.. i hope i can gather enough momentum to start the mugging machine inside of me and just in time before i shave bald..

2008-03-17T21:51:00.003+08:00

even though the pain is gone,
the scar still remains..

first day of new term jiu kena caught for long hair by P liao
lols
i shld have siam faster lah
ended up being caught with zhihan and jerome too

recieved a huge stack of physics notes today
i think the mr.chew is really trying to gear us up
hope my physics can improve

for the next econs lesson we were made to sit a boy and a gal alternatively cuz everytime the guys sit together 1 whole row we will talk
-.-
'interacted' with gracelyn during econs
so glad that there wasnt any barrier anymore
she even laughed lah..
i seriously do believe when ms.lai said she wants to groom and breed a class of future economists

this post is just so ...

maths test tml.. die arh!

2008-03-16T22:06:00.002+08:00

a week has past since that night..
does reel imitates real
or does real imitates reel instead?
i wonder..
wouldnt it be nice if everyone drinks the soup which was added something to make people forget unhappy stuff overnight?
sadly, they wun forget and will never forget..
i'm sick of all these stuffs..
it keeps happening
and this time the matter has gotten into a whole lot worse..
i'm trying not to get affected by it..
is difficult living everyday facing each other like this..

2008-03-15T23:58:00.021+08:00

minutes to midnight..
is a confirmed first-class trip to hell
enough said
sometimes, i feel like all these are not real
i'm just living in a dream
everything just seems like an illusion

as usual, during this holiday i..
fail to do any homework
didnt study for up-coming tests

screw it.. damn!

was reading a newspaper article about the Us in here..
how one student achieved good grades but cant afford financially to further his studies..
what other top colleges students do to beef up their testis and thus ensuring a place in u..

are the expectations too much?

*shudders*

or am i just too weak?

minshian's words will always flow into my mind..
"if you still want to continue whining, than i'm sure you wun be able to complete"
and so will mr. handsome En's (lol) words
"so is not the butt problem. your mental is still very weak"

sigh..

only productive thing which happened this holiday was Hockey training (:

just came back from mac.. philip’s stories in cj never fails to amuse me.. haha

shall post pics..

CNY! -.- (is like so long ago lah.. somemore so many ppl pon)

the yu sheng.. (laupeiting and i were trying to finish all e crackers lah.. haha)

i look like i just woke up -.-

the photos which i took with gracelyn were 'deleted accidentally' lols

than came yog

laupeiting, wendy, carine (aka zhabo who is tabo but is actually zhabo) lols

the celebrations.. YAY! -.-

look at michele.. HAHA

mr.koh was so happy that he bought kfc, mac, pizzas for us.. jj rocks man! :D

not too long back we had some scdf thing..

kanta and carine trying to put off e fire

*boy was romance is in the air!*

a close up pic in case u duno how they look like :D

the class guys tried to demostrate their first aid skills on melvin..
lols!

it was my turn..
i'm a retard! -.-

during maths lecture..
we were bored okay..
HAHA

jiayi and gerald! WOOTS! :D
hey.. these require skills okay.. HAHA

next few pics are will prove how random-ness i am..

after hockey training tiak tiak (as kanta and i so affectionately call him) bought some desert with a lollipop sticking on top of it.. cool!

on our way to kanta's house to *ahem* 'play'..

his house is so out of this world lah!
is like it is completely surounded by greeneries and is excluded from the bustle of the city..

class outing! went to nyny to eat.. managed to catch a pic of e two love-birds.. Haha.. but too bad we didnt take photos..
still doesnt know what JAPT stands for.. -.- i ordered something which sounds tasty, but it turned out to be just chicken chop =.=

before that we went to watch 10 000BC.. it was hilarious can? someone shld make 'meet the cavemen'! :D

the view outside my window..
the clouds are simply so pretty (:

2008-03-10T01:21:00.002+08:00

i have sinned tonight

definitely, it is a one-way ticket straight to hell

by tomorrow, my smile may be able to cover up my once blood-stained hands

but will it be enough to last me all the way?

sigh..

2008-03-06T21:40:00.002+08:00

i can only depend on myself.
arent i right?

fcuk sia.. had a bad day..
go sch like that
go training like that
go home oso like that

is all my fault right?
damn

the minimum requirement to go u is a Cao-Chee-Bye
>=(

on a brighter note, hockey guys are going to fail tml's chem test! YAY
-.-

2008-03-05T18:34:00.001+08:00

the sound of raindrops
the feeling of playing hockey
am i an iceman?
look up and move forward