Wednesday, October 29, 2008
i used to not bother about my studies..
after all the "confirm fail", "never study" and "sure die liao lah"
which i have heard so often,
i decided that when i enter a jc
academics can take a backseat
found no reason to be a part of the mad mugging craze
lost my drive
no longer was what i used to be in 405
i was searching for something which can offer me more than that
join a cca group which i like, bond together with friends and perhaps maybe even find a girl
oh boy was i dearly wrong
time passed
i am still stagnating..
posted at 3:23 PM
Saturday, October 25, 2008
stupid emo guy..
posted at 11:00 PM
Friday, October 17, 2008
great.
why did the last day turned out like this?
now everyone thinks that i am a freak lah.
i have outdone myself.
a total outcast.
sigh.
this was so not what i had wanted it to end.
the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya episode 13
during elementary school
when i was in sixth grade
the whole family went to watch a baseball game at the stadium
i wasn't particular interested in baseball
but i was shocked once we got there
there were people everywhere i looked
the ones on the other side of the stadium looked like squirmming grains of rice all packed together
i wondered if every last person in Japan had gathered in this place
and so
i asked my dad
exactly how many people were in the stadium?
his answer was a sold-out game meant around fifty thousand people
after the game, the path to the station was flooded with people
the sight stunned me
so many people around me
yet they only made up a fraction of the people in Japan
once i got home, i got a calculator and did the math
we learned that the Japanese population was a hundred million and some in social studies
divide fifty thousand into that
and you only get one two-thousandth
i was stunned again
not only was i just one little people in the sea of people in that stadium
but that sea of people
was merely a drop in the ocean
i had thought myself to be
a special person up until that point
i enjoyed being with my family
and most of all
i thought that my class in my school
had the most interesting people in the world
but
that was when i realised it wasn't like that
the things that happened in what i believed to be the most enjoyable class in the world
could be found happening in any school in Japan
everyone in Japan would find them to be ordinary occurrences
once i realised this
i suddenly found that
my surroundings were beginning to lose their colour
brush my teeth and go to sleep at night
wake up and eat breakfast in the morning
people do those everywhere
when i realised that everyone did all these things on a daily basis
everything started to feel so boring
and if
there were so many people in the world
there had to be someone living an interesting life that wasn't ordinary
i was sure of it
why wasn't that person me?
that's all i could think about
until i graduated from elementary school
and in the process i realised something
nothing fun will happen if you sit around waiting
so i figuerd i would change myself in middle school
let the world know that i wasn't a girl content with sitting around and waiting
and i conducted myself accordingly
but in the end nothing ever happenedbefore i knew it, i was in high school
i thought something would have changed.
posted at 4:21 PM